Raising UP George’s No Rainbow Flags Necessary Narrative

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weddingpaperie.com


Story #33

George Yang is 31 year old who identify as a Gay Hmong male, Christian, and resides in Washington.

I have not heard of any Hmong LGBTQIA Narratives. I was aware about my sexuality somewhere in my teens say, 15 years old. I am out now that I’m in my early 30s; half my life. With plans to getting married to my partner who is Puerto Rican, and starting our journey into becoming adoptive parents. Our kids will be of a different ethnicity.

Being from Pennsylvania where the Hmong community is mostly Christian with a lot of influence from the modern world, I say the Hmong Christian community has become supportive with LGBT people. Pennsylvania does have a small Hmong community so there’s a lesser chance of a bigger gay Hmong population. There’s another guy that I know of from Eastern Pennsylvania that is gay, and opened about it. But he like I, we don’t need to be waving rainbow flags around. We live our lives like the rest of the people in the world.

©Linda Her and MidWest Solidarity Movement, 2011 – 2014. All rights reserved. Unauthorized distribution with the intent to sell, use and/or duplication of these images, audio, video, stories, blog posts, and materials on this blog without express and written permission from this blog’s authors and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links as stated by MidWest Solidarity Movement members may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Linda Her and MidWest Solidarity Movement with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Raising UP Emily’s What’s After Acceptance Narrative

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enjoythaimovies.com

Story #32

Em Thao is a 26 year old, identify as a Lesbian, and resides in California.

I knew I was gay when I was in the sixth grade chasing after this beautiful blonde named Georgia. Liking her was so normal to me because I wasn’t aware of what being gay and being straight was. I just knew that my heart goes spaghetti for her. I grew up thinking that I might just be bisexual which means I can I still marry a man and make my mom happy. After a few failed relationships with men, I concluded that I am definitely a lesbian. And that is how I knew.

I came out bisexual first to my friends, then my cousins and finally my brothers in high school. Everyone was very supportive, it was weird for my older cousins at first, but that dissipated quickly. My brothers never judged me, they could careless if I am gay or straight. I love them so much for that. It is because of this group of supportive people, I decided to come out to my mom at age 25. She always knew that I was gay, but she never wanted to to confirm it so she never ask me about it. We joke about it a few times, but that was that. I admit that I coming out to my mom could have been better on my end. I was scared so the words literally just spilled out. She said a few things and ran to her room. After a few months of not talking to each other, she finally told me that she love me and that I didn’t chose to be this way. She was just afraid of what people might say or do to me. At the moment, I am completely open to everyone in my family and group of friends. Co-workers are still a sensitive subject. Through my experience, I found out that Hmong Americans are more acceptable to homosexuality whereas the more traditional ones still have a backward way of thinking.

Flower Hmong schoolchildren. Bac Ha, Vietnam

terragalleria.com

The issues of being Hmong LGBTQQI are marriage and children. How do you perform a ceremony with two women or two man? Who’s going to be the one to pay? What about children? We all know that Hmong parents are not very open minded when it comes to adoption, how will they treat their grandchildren? What will these children learn from their community? I am getting to that stage and I am afraid that I don’t know any of these answers.

I had a few Hmong LGBTQQI friends back when I was younger, but we lost touch over the years. It would be super awesome to have an organized group to just meet and greet with other Hmong LGBTQQI. We should let them know that they are not alone, there are people like them, especially the young ones.

If you’re compelled by Emily’s story, we invite you (if you identify as Hmong LGBTQQI) to contribute your narrative to our collection and documentation by taking this 5 minute survey: http://tinyurl.com/HmongLGBTQQIStories

©Linda Her and MidWest Solidarity Movement, 2011 – 2014. All rights reserved. Unauthorized distribution with the intent to sell, use and/or duplication of these images, audio, video, stories, blog posts, and materials on this blog without express and written permission from this blog’s authors and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links as stated by MidWest Solidarity Movement members may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Linda Her and MidWest Solidarity Movement with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Raising UP Wilson’s Revive and Thrive Narrative

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ph.news.yahoo.com

Story #31

Wilson is a 17 year old Gay Hmong American from California.

I was about 13 years old when I started acknowledging that there was a possibility that I liked men. I always hid it from everyone because in this community (Asian or not) the word gay is used in such bad connotation it made me feel like something was wrong with me. Of course, this made me super scared to say anything to anyone, but I kind of put the worries aside and just day dreamed all through the next couple of years.

Well, there certainly are phases. The very first phase I remember was the phase of denial. I felt fuzzy around handsome men, but I always told myself that I just respected them a lot, or that they were just an icon for me to follow. Then I acknowledged my sexuality and hated myself. Depression struck me for about 3-4 years and it even got so bad that I tried to kill myself. Now, I’m completely okay and open about my sexuality. I mean, people are always going to judge and make fun of it, but eventually, you’d just laugh along side with them because it doesn’t matter. None of the sexuality stuff really even matters because I personally rarely bother to think if the person sitting next to me is gay or straight. In fact, that is the least of my worries. It’s not as big of a deal as it was back in the 1970’s, not saying it’s not a problem still, just saying, don’t be afraid to say something to someone. Start with one person and then build up. You’d be surprised at how many people will support you. And sometimes even if they don’t support your sexuality, they are still friends with you. I happen to have two friends who say gay marriage is wrong, but they completely accept me with all of my “mistakes” and stuff.

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theinspirationroom.com

One of the biggest reasons I came out was because I felt like I was morally cheating myself from the love that everyone else was experiencing. I came out because I loved myself, and because I knew there was nothing wrong with me. I loved myself enough to stand up to it, and I’m glad I did. The relationships haven’t changed too much. If anything, it get’s funnier with the girls, but with the boys, they might distance themselves, but just give them time. They’ll get over it, or they’ll ask you if you like them.

I’m out to everyone except my dad because he is really religious. He probably would kick me out or something because he is the type of guy who doesn’t take crap from anything. Maybe when I’m old enough to support myself properly I’ll tell him, or maybe one day I’ll just come home with a boyfriend. I’m not sure how it’ll go down, but it’s all alright with me.

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ethnicjewelsmagazine.com

I think the social aspect of the Hmong people on this topic is a big problem. I’ve never seen a bashing, but I know at times there is a problem with homophobia and isolation. Another is general approval of the parents.

I have heard of a Hmong LGBTQ person from my cousin and one of my acquaintances, but there wasn’t too much information given to me other than them telling me it’s going to be weird at first, but it’ll get better.

I think it would be awesome if Hmong people were more supportive. I believe that a lot of Hmong people would like to believe they’d support it, but when it gets down to it, they would be very hesitant, and I don’t blame them. We are a fairly new race to this whole “being on the spotlight” thing in America and other events, and I think it’s going to take a while before anything supportive comes from the Hmong community. As to the LGBTQQI’s existence in the Hmong culture, I’m sure that a lot of people we know are gay or questioning, but the fear is just keeping them locked up.

If you’re compelled by Wilson’s story, we invite you (if you identify as Hmong LGBTQQI) to contribute your narrative to our collection and documentation by taking this 5 minute survey: http://tinyurl.com/HmongLGBTQQIStories

©Linda Her and MidWest Solidarity Movement, 2011 – 2014. All rights reserved. Unauthorized distribution with the intent to sell, use and/or duplication of these images, audio, video, stories, blog posts, and materials on this blog without express and written permission from this blog’s authors and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links as stated by MidWest Solidarity Movement members may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Linda Her and MidWest Solidarity Movement with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Raising UP Europe’s Summoning Courage Narrative

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niwdenapolis.com


Story #30

Europe Lor is a 21 year old Gay Hmong American from Wisconsin.

I think I was 11 and I was attracted to one of my classmates. I didn’t think much of it, at the time I kind of knew that being attracted to the same-sex wasn’t really well looked upon and that it was something unique and at the same time I kind of felt like it was normal for me.

The actual reason as to why I came out was because of work, but I don’t want to say that it was just mainly because of work. But it is because of the work that I was participating in that allowed me to summon the courage to open the door that I was so afraid to open. I was working with an Organization that was just starting to build awareness for Hmong-LGBTQ and I felt that if I was going to do this type of work I needed to be honest with myself and my family. So I came out to my mom and then my dad. Another reason was because, I was afraid that I was never going to get the chance to tell my parents before they passed if I waited too long and I wanted them to know the real me before any accidents or anything was going to happen, I just felt like I didn’t want to lie to them whether they accepted me or not.

The issues that I am facing today as a queer Hmong is waiting to be accepted by my parents. It would mean the world to me and make me so happy that my parents would accept for liking who I like and for who I am. It has been 3 years since I have come out and my relationships have completely changed with everyone that exists in my circle.

I feel some of the younger Hmong generation is somewhat supportive of it and the older Hmong generation still holds onto their time from way back and isn’t quite supportive. I think that LGBTQQI is still in the shadows some-what, because the queer Hmong folks aren’t really recognized in the bigger part of our community.

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huffingtonpost.com

If you’re compelled by Europe’s story, we invite you (if you identify as Hmong LGBTQQI) to contribute your narrative to our collection and documentation by taking this 5 minute survey: http://tinyurl.com/HmongLGBTQQIStories

©Linda Her and MidWest Solidarity Movement, 2011 – 2014. All rights reserved. Unauthorized distribution with the intent to sell, use and/or duplication of these images, audio, video, stories, blog posts, and materials on this blog without express and written permission from this blog’s authors and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links as stated by MidWest Solidarity Movement members may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Linda Her and MidWest Solidarity Movement with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Raising UP Kevin’s Liberated Narrative

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voanews.com

Story #28

Kevin Thao is an 18 year old Hmong American and identifies as an Atheist gay male residing in Minnesota.

When I was a kid, I don’t remember how old, I always noticed this aesthetic feeling towards a male teacher. It’s hard to explain what I was feeling then, but I liked this teacher a lot, especially the way he looked at me. He made me feel, “Giddy” with excitement. So this made me want to go and talk with him.

I am out to only certain people because I still feel uncomfortable letting people know that I am gay. It’s because when I was a kid, I was bossed around, I was hated, and I was bullied. Growing up, I learned how to be independent so I don’t go out and meet people. Regardless, I had friends because of school, but I wouldn’t go hang out with them. Just growing up to be independent, I didn’t tell other people about what I was feeling or about of my life.

I came out roughly about 2 years ago because I was feeling lonely. At first, my parents said they didn’t mind then they changed their mind. They told me that there is no such thing as being gay as a “Hmong” person. Although they ignore me and do horrible things to me, I’ll just have to prove to them that I can be that better person.

Right now, I couldn’t care less about what I do outside in society, since I know who I am and that’s who I will be. I don’t mind telling people that I am gay, but I don’t go around telling them that I am gay. If people ask, I just give them a straight up answer. Being independent wasn’t helping me to what the real world was about. Out in the real world, you’re going to need to communicate, converse, and talking to other people whether it’s about business or just in general.

I definitely feel the Hmong Community is supportive of me. Although, I don’t hang out with many people, when I do, they already make me feel safe and comfortable of where I am and who I am.

I think that everything is fine. I believe that it should be always spread around communities because I want people to realize that a man and women isn’t just the only thing that exist in this world.

If you’re compelled by Kevin’s story, we invite you (if you identify as Hmong LGBTQQI) to contribute your narrative to our collection and documentation by taking this 5 minute survey: http://tinyurl.com/HmongLGBTQQIStories

©Linda Her and MidWest Solidarity Movement, 2011 – 2013. All rights reserved. Unauthorized distribution with the intent to sell, use and/or duplication of these images, audio, video, stories, blog posts, and materials on this blog without express and written permission from this blog’s authors and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links as stated by MidWest Solidarity Movement members may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Linda Her and MidWest Solidarity Movement with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Raising UP Jay’s Lifted Narrative

GreenRanger

orendsrange.com

Story #26

Jay Her is a 26 year old Agnostic Buddhist Hmong man who identifies as Gay residing in Alaska.

It was when the first season of Power Rangers came out, so since that was 1993 I must say, I was about 6 years old and remember being completely captivated by the Red Ranger. I liked the Yellow and Pink Ranger’s hair styles and spunkiness, but something about the boy Rangers, especially the Red Ranger just sparked an interest in me. Then they introduced the Green Ranger and I think if I was allowed to plaster my way with posters and such, I totally would!

Although the feeling I remember I had was something interesting, I was too young to fully grasp sexual attraction yet. I remember the feeling of my attention being completely and utterly focused on everything the male rangers were saying and doing… “Yes, That sounds Great!” (I did not know what it even was)… “I want to try those smoothies too” (even though they were flavors I would have never thought of putting together)… “I wish they went to my school…,” “I wished I could record this so I can watch it again…,” “I think that is a great hobby to have” (knowing I’ve tried it before and was never really good at it)…” I guess it was the feeling that everything they said and did were AWESOME, lol.

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paintingsilove.com

But, that never fully translated over to school until I was in 7th grade. I knew I always had butterflies in my stomach when it came to boys at school. I hung out with them just to have their company, but I always wanted to do more of what the girls were doing… that just seemed  more fun; other boys were dirty and stuff. Girls were clean and did fun, pretty things… and actually had something to show for it when they were done, not just getting better at an activity the way boys did.

Those were the two pivotal points in my development and my realization from childhood and pre-adolescent years. The rest consists of vetting through emotions, values, religion, societal and cultural stuff, counseling, and the wonderous world of the INTERNET.

I don’t hide it [my sexuality], but I don’t flaunt it too. I tell people when the conversation is relevant, just as I don’t tell everyone my profession, religion, or favorite TV show. If it is relevant to the conversation at hand then we’ll have a dialogue about it. If it’s not, then I don’t feel the necessity to push my facts and lifestyle choices down anyone’s throat.  I came out. Not easy; still compromising with some family members, but worth the weight off my shoulders.

My coming out was the first time I questioned religion. I have since been engrossed in the lay study of religion, their origins, the changes throughout the ages, possible motives behind structures and changes, etc. I have always tried and rationalized why certain things are set forth within the religion I grew up in and even tried to rationalize how homosexuality does not fit into the bigger scheme of the universe. It wasn’t until I started looking more into religion and found out that there are other ways of viewing it when the questions started coming up… “If they could be wrong about this, what other things could they be wrong about? Has this always been the case, or did it get changed somewhere along the way because of societal pressure?”

I feel that people are supportive, but just concerned about how I fit into the structure of our Hmong Community.  It’s easy when someone says they are “something” that fits into the Cultural Structure of our community… but I don’t think we’ve created a strong enough hold or place for poly-sexuality (more than just heterosexuality) into Structure of our Hmong Culture yet.

Girl, they love it when I make dresses! LOL. They all like me and what I do. The ones who are concerned seem to just bring up some questions related to these bases:

They ask, “What are they (the community) going to think about you?” I just brush this off as an statement of concern or fear that people won’t know how I fit into the Cultural Structure.

They ask, “Who’s going to take care of you when you grow up?” I take this a legitimate concern about my own well being, because throughout many generations, the younger generations would take care of the older generations. So I understand the concern of who is going to take care of me when i get older, because in their mind there are still no alternatives.

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minnestory.tumblr.com

Many have become so dependent on their sexuality as their identity that they’ve forgotten how they can fit into the Hmong community. Through that they slowly disengage with our Hmong community, eventually, to the point where they are no longer familiar with most cultural values. Sometimes they even generalize themselves together, as if saying, it’s all part of the culture that didn’t want me anyways.

I don’t want to continue living a lie. I no longer associate with certain people anymore. I’ve connected with a whole new group of people I’ve never thought I’d be a part of, learned the art of compromising to make relationships with family work, and ultimately am happier with myself with this weight off my shoulders.

If you’re compelled by Jay’s story, we invite you (if you identify as Hmong LGBTQQI) to contribute your narrative to our collection and documentation by taking this 5 minute survey: http://tinyurl.com/HmongLGBTQQIStories

©Linda Her and MidWest Solidarity Movement, 2011 – 2013. All rights reserved. Unauthorized distribution with the intent to sell, use and/or duplication of these images, audio, video, stories, blog posts, and materials on this blog without express and written permission from this blog’s authors and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links as stated by MidWest Solidarity Movement members may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Linda Her and MidWest Solidarity Movement with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Raising UP Meng’s Feeling Free Narrative

1524962_692126054151497_12239647_nStory #23

Meng Vang is a 22 year-old Gay and Hmong-American man from Minnesota.

There wasn’t a certain age when I knew I was gay, but it was probably during middle school. I only knew that I was different because when I am with a girl or girlfriend, I do not feel any attraction towards her, or she doesn’t turn me on. During this time, I still had no idea what gay even was. It wasn’t until my freshman year that I started to notice that guys are what attracts me, guys are what turns me on, guys are my thing, guys are…..they just are.

I still remember why I didn’t want to come out. I was afraid of not being accepted by the community and also by my family. What should I expect after I tell them I am gay? It’s the after effects that scares me about coming out. Where would I go if I was disowned? Will I be able to make it alone in this world where no one understands me? Is death the only solution in the end? These “what ifs” are what causes me to stay hidden. There are many more but these are only some questions in which I often relate to.

The only issue I face is that I take medicine every day from my parents in hopes that I will turn straight for them, but the reality is, I’m gay and this is who I am. I believe being disowned by our family is the biggest struggle that currently impact the lives of Hmong LGBTQ. Hmong culture, well speaking of it, traditional Hmong culture see no value in this topic. It is considered a taboo and being gay is the worst way to be looked down upon. Only if those traditional Hmong people had a little change of education on this topic, they will realize that being different isn’t that bad. It is actually a normal thing like any other identity. I believe Hmong LGBTQ can fit and exist anywhere in the Hmong community, it only takes time to notice that our voices are here.

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MWSM’s Asian American Marriage Equality Get Together

My first time meeting other Hmong LGBTQ was when a fellow Hmong gay individual invited me to a Hmong LGBTQ BBQ that was celebrating the marriage equality law that recently passed in Minnesota. After that night, I have heard many coming out stories that was basically like how I would manage my coming out story. Well, I came out at the age of 21, why? I really wasn’t expecting to come out yet until I’m done with my education and am financially stable if I were to be alone. But then things took a turn at an event where both parties misunderstood each other and had mistaken the meanings that both parties had spoken about. So then, the only thing I had in mind was the other party caught on and so I might as well tell the truth, but I did it with confidence knowing and hearing many stories already. I held my head up high and proud. I was excited to finally be set free from this burden. Somehow it feels different, yet somehow it feels as if there are no change to it at all. It is as if it was a day fling thing and after that, things went back to normal.

I am no different than anyone else. It’s either they accept or I can careless. Being happy of who I am in life is the biggest success I can have in life. Like I have said many times to this other dork person who is openly gay, I’m not shy if you out me now. I’m not shy to kiss or hold your hands in public. I’m open to show my real self to public, but when you feel comfortable to do things in public, feel free to hold my hands, kiss my cheek, as long as you’re comfortable doing it to me in public. This dork person surprisingly feels the same way.

If you’re compelled by Meng Vang’s story, we invite you (if you identify as Hmong LGBTQQI) to contribute your narrative to our collection and documentation by taking this 5 minute survey: http://tinyurl.com/HmongLGBTQQIStories

©Linda Her and MidWest Solidarity Movement, 2011 – 2013. All rights reserved. Unauthorized distribution with the intent to sell, use and/or duplication of these images, audio, video, stories, blog posts, and materials on this blog without express and written permission from this blog’s authors and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links as stated by MidWest Solidarity Movement members may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Linda Her and MidWest Solidarity Movement with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.